The clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to faaade…

Hoovering the SUFA office while dancing and singing along to I Wanna Dance With Somebody..? My life is surely made of win.

I have tried in my way to be free.

I watched an episode of Make Me A Christian on Channel 4 last night. It made me think a lot about the distortions of religious texts and doctrines over the centuries which have served a variety of purposes. I know many Christians whose way of life I actually admire. One of my friends is an active member of the Salvation Army and is currently on a construction project in Malawi as part of his work with them. He doesn’t believe, like many, in imposing his faith on other people. The underlying beliefs of the Salvation Army are centred around community and in the practical requirements one must meet to be a Christian i.e. doing one’s bit for charity and community projects. From my perspective, this is the only way to truly love your neighbour and people who undertake work like this regardless of divisions of religion, race or sexuality are the true Christians. The problem I have is that I know so many people who hide behind the guise of ‘Christian’ and are, in fact, the polar opposite of Christ who is meant to be selfless, loving and forgiving. It’s almost as though it is not only through Christ that their sins are forgiven, but also through Christ that they are actually Christian. Christians by proxy, let’s say. Such an idea can at least be true for priests who abuse children (the former priest of the Catholic primary school I attended, for example) and ‘Christians’ who hurl abuse at gays and lesbians and shout ‘YOU ARE GOING TO BURN IN HELL!’ at people on busy high streets. Very Christian behaviour, I’m sure you’ll agree.

One of the pastors on Make Me A Christian was talking to a lesbian participant on the programme about how the London Metropolitan Church (a ‘gay church’, so to speak) twisted the scriptures to suit their deviant lifestyle. That’s a bit rich seeing as the English translation of the Bible itself is seen by so many as a marked transgression from earlier versions. I find it almost incomprehensible that anybody could truly believe that the words they read today bear the exact same message as those that were originally written. What repulsed me most about this pastor was his belief that Christianity can heterosexualise gay people, or ‘lead them to the right path’. God apparently not only wants man to have free will, but also wants him simultaneously to be repressed by his fellow man.

While I have issues with some aspects of Islam, I have to express my respect for the fact that the vast majority of Muslims learn to pray in Arabic. They learn to read the Qur’an in Arabic and to perform salat in Arabic, the original language of the religion. Perhaps they are at an advantage because Islam is newer (7th Century) but Muslims appear far more likely to be in tune with the true, intended essence of their religion. And it’s not like Arabic is an easy language to learn. People don’t just wake up one day and say, “Oh I think I’ll learn Arabic today.” It is a lifetime commitment.

What I find most interesting about Islam is the clear distortions of the Qur’anic doctrine both within the world Muslim community (if that exists at all) and from outside. Fundamentalists, for example, believe they can buy a ticket to paradise by becoming ‘martyrs’ when the majority of Muslims around the world abhor their actions and are indeed angry at the tarnish they impose on Islam. Then there are the scare tactics employed by Western governments. Jihad this and jihad that. Jihad, as most Muslims understand it, is the personal struggle to live life in accordance with Allah’s will and to protect the Islamic faith. It is not murdering innocent people and nor is it a war against Western capitalism. The distortion of its meaning can be blamed in part on Cold War activity in the Middle East and the West’s choice to deliberately ignore the increasingly fundamentalist groups emerging in the region and short-sightedness with regard to long-term consequences. Distortions of the faith were inevitable in such a context, giving rise to fundamentalist militants. The West chose instead to focus entirely on the enemy of the time, and do not admit to their own key role in creating the current climate. But then was this really short-sighted? Or did it give the West a convenient enemy against which they could rally after the collapse of the Soviet Union or in the case of a breakdown of relations with Middle Eastern oil states? Considering the possibility makes me sick to my stomach.

I am undoubtedly biased. My brain automatically tries to shift the blame away from Islam and from Muslim people. Growing up I was surrounded by Islamic culture to a significant extent and to this day the call to prayer from a minaret stirs the Muslim part of me, however small it may be. All bias considered, I still think it is important to question how truthful the side of the story we get really is. I feel so sad hearing people say that they ‘looked around for terrorists’ when they boarded the plane for their summer holiday (100% true story), taken in so willingly by the versions of events put in front of them. It’s like there’s no opposition anymore, and I suppose this is one of the reasons why UK politics is of little or no interest to me.

We decided that we would have a soda. My favourite flavour, cherry red.

I’ve always been quite a cynic about second generation kids. You know, kids whose parents are from abroad; kids who claim to be ‘Bulgarian’, ‘Indian’, ‘Chinese’, ‘Irish’, ‘This’ or ‘That’, when really they’ve spent their whole lives in a completely different country. I guess my insistence that I’m British, really I am has been something of an overcompensation. Yes, I am British, but I find myself wondering if there are any aspects of Britishness with which I can actually identify. I’m pretty apathetic about the politics in comparison with the politics of other countries. I don’t enjoy traditional English music. I’m not particularly drawn into environmental/conservation debates within Britain, despite taking a keen interest in similar debates at a global level. I tend to secretly root for the other side when the English football team plays an international match (sshhh) and a small part inside of me dies when I see people with the red cross of St George or the three lions tattooed anywhere on their person.

It was really nice at the ambassador’s house on independence day. This group of mummies heard me and Funi speaking in Indonesian, tapped me on the shoulder and started up a conversation. They were so, so sweet and said that it was really nice to hear me speaking Indonesian ‘bener kayak orang Indonesia’, or ‘truly like an Indonesian person’. Little things like that make me feel like I fit in and I suppose that’s all I can hope for.

Aside from crises of identity, I have to start interviewing candidates to replace me at SUFA. Scary or what? I posted a couple of advertisements online and I’ve had so many replies back! I don’t even know what to say. I always associate interviews with general discomfort and sweaty hands. Hmm.